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Post Info TOPIC: MARRIAGE?


Guru's GURU

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RE: RE: MARRIAGE?


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"A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to a bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lollipop... but at the bar... you know... they have frozen glasses..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long; I'll be right back. I promise. Okay?" "You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out five dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. "But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words, cutie pie? Listen up jerk! Drink your goddamn beer in your goddamn frozen mug and eat your stupid snacks, because you are married now, you aren't going anywhere! Got it, ****?!?" And they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story? function mail_console() { window.open("http://cgi.askmen.com/cgi-bin/mailafriend.cgi?/jokes/2004_may/may27.html","mail_console","toolbar=no,width=480,height=500,directories=no,status=no,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,menubar=no"); }   »  Disclaimer   "

Dunno 'bout sweet, but sure as heck is true to life!

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Guru's GURU

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Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
- David Bissonette

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
- Noel Coward, 1956

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. -
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

She's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
- Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe
- Jackie Mason

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.
- Montaigne

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
- Hemant Joshi

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.



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Guru's GURU

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quote:

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""

  WHATS THE MORAL HERE.....

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Guru's GURU

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quote:

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"  WHATS THE MORAL HERE....."

Before marriage men are all talk..after marriage they're no talk and no action!

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Administrator

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quote:

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"Before marriage men are all talk..after marriage they're no talk and no action!"

Thats because ..after marriage...their purpose in life ( to get a girl) is over.

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