Tell funniest jokes ever heard

ohboy · Veteran Member

RE: Tell funniest jokes ever heard

rostx · Guru's GURU

quote:
Originally posted by:
"oops... it was cut n paste TEACHER: Why are you late?JOHNY: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." TEACHER: JOHNY, how do you spell "crocodile"?JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"TEACHER: No, that's wrongJOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!"

Reallllyyyyy funny stuffffff

rostx · Guru's GURU

Old folks are worth a fortune, with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet, and gas in their stomachs.

You're getting old when you don't care where your wife goes, just so long as you don't have to go along to.

You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

rostx · Guru's GURU

THE MANY MEANING OF PMS:
1.Pas*s My Shotgun 2.Psychotic Mood Shift 3.Perpetual Munching Spree 4.Puffy Mid-Section! 5.People Make me Sick 6.ProvideMe withSweets 7.Pardon My Sobbing 8.Pimples May Surface 9.Pas*s My Sweatpants 10.Pis*sy Mood Syndrome 11.Plainly; Men Su*ck 12.Pack My Stuff 13. Potential Murder Suspect

shashichief · 1st Moderator

Giorgio walks to work every day and passes a shoe store on his way.

Each day he stops and looks in the window, admiring a certain pair of Bocceli leather shoes. After about two months, he saves the $300 the shoes cost and purchases them.

Every Friday night the Italian community gets together to dance in the church basement, so Giorgio seizes the opportunity to wear his new Bocceli leather shoes to the dance.

He asks Sophia to dance, and as they dance he asks her, "Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?"

Sophia, startled, replies, "Yes, Giorgio, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?"

Giorgio replies, "I see the reflection in my new $300 Bocceli leather shoes. How do you like them?"

Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks her, "Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?"

Rosa answers, " Yes, Giorgio, I do, but how do you know that?"

He answers, "I see the reflection in my new $300 Bocceli leather shoes. How do you like them?"

Now the evening is almost over and the last song is playing. Giorgio asks Carmella to dance.

Midway through the dance his face turns red. He says, "Carmella, stilla my heart, please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tella me this true!"

Carmella answers, "Yes, yes Giorgio, I wear no panties tonight."

Giorgio gasps and says, "Thanka God... I thought I had a crack ina my $300 Bocceli leather shoes!"

shashichief · 1st Moderator

The U.S. Postal Service created a stamp earlier this year with a
> picture of President Bush to honor his achievements while in
> office.
> However, it was found that the stamp was not sticking to
> envelopes.
> So the President established a blue ribbon commission to
> determine the
> reason for the defect..
>
> After thorough testing, the commission published the following
> findings:
>
> 1. The stamp was found to be in perfect order.
>
> 2. There was nothing wrong with the adhesive.
>
> 3. People were just spitting on the wrong side.