A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral ...I'm a gynecologist." At that point, the proctologist fainted...

You may not know this but many non living things have a gender.

1) Ziploc Bags are Male, cos they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers are Female, cos once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. Its an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreck havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) A Tire is Male, cos it goes bald and its often over inflated.

4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, cos to get it to anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there is the hot air part.

5) Sponges are Female(spongebob is an exception), cos they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) A Web Page is Female, cos its always getting hit on.

7) A Subway is Male, cos it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) An Hourglass is Female, cos over time the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) A Hammer is Male, cos it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but its handy to have around.

10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But consider this, it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!