Tell funniest jokes ever heard

shashichief · 1st Moderator

RE: Tell funniest jokes ever heard

shashichief · 1st Moderator

DIVING DEEP

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth as he was, but he had no scuba gear on whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 feet, but minutes later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk and board set, and wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

shashichief · 1st Moderator

Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"

He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement
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Once a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

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Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
(What Happened, My Son?)

The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)

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Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with.

A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.

A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.

'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

rhythmofguitar · Veteran Member

hotel karnal-a-fonia

On the dark GT highway
Some lice in my hair
Warm smell of some dhabas
Rising up in the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a ttharra joint
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I must have drunk over a pint
There he stood in the drive way
I heard his truck helper yell
And I was thinking to myself
This had to be Devinder Singh Behl
Then he belched, and scratched his head
And he was on the highway
And the other drivers leaning from their truck doors
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Vaddi changi place (vaddi changi place)
Vaddi changi place

Massage, manicure, pedicure at Karnal-a-fonia
Any kind of ear (any kind of ear)
You can clean it here
His car's grill was definitely twisted
He's got a Maruti-Benz
He's got a lot of petty petty MLAs
Whom he calls friends
Dancing bhangra in the courtyard
See surdie sweat
Some dancer is this Devinder
Armpits stinking wet
So I told the bell captain
It's made a reservation online
And he said, oye khoteyya our internet hasnt
Worked at all, since 1999
And still those drivers were calling from the drive way
Woke me in the middle of the night
I know I heard them say

Welcome to the hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Itthey karlo rest (itthey karlo rest)
Itthey karlo rest

Aish karo at the hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Kudi umr bais (kudi umr bais)
Will serve you nice
Daler on the ceiling
And on the walls in every guise
And waitresses dressed like actresses
From flicks of Subhash Ghai's
And in the downstairs canteen
I sat down for my meal
Butter chicken, and sarson da saag
Had a shock when they showed me the bill
Looking for help I saw Devinder
Dancing wildly on the floor
I had to find my hostess back
Oh where is this Gurpreet Kaur?
Relax said Milkha Singh
Play golf with my son Jeev
Tu ban gaya Punjab da puttar
Now you can't ever leave...
So here I am,

Wasting life at the Hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Vaddi changi place (vaddi changi place)
Vaddi changi place

Converted to member of Hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Whoever arrives (whoever arrives)
Stays till he dies !!!

shashichief · 1st Moderator

RYTHEM.....just crazy yet cool....

shashichief · 1st Moderator

There were these two friends and both of them had Sardarji drivers. They were
having an argument about whose driver is more stupid. so one of the friends
called his driver:"Oye Santa Singh"... Santa Singh replied: "Ji praaJi"
his boss said: "Get this $10 bill, go to Showroom and buy a Mercedes Benz for
me"
Santa Singh said: Oh fikar hi na karo ji..mein abhi aaya"
The boss said to his friend in a winning tone.." See how stupid he is.. he went
to buy a Mercedes for only $10"
The other friend said" Still my driver is more stupid" then he called his driver
Banta Singh and said" Go home and check if I m there"..
BAnta singh said" ji mein abhi aata hoon dekh kar"..
His boss said "see my driver is more stupid..he can't even realize tht how can i
be at home if i m here"
Now Santa and Banta met on their way..
Santa: My boss is sooo stupid..he gave me $10 to buy a mercedes.. he does not
even know that today is Sunday and all showrooms are closed..
Banta: My boss is even more stupid.. He sent me to check if he is home.. he has
a cell phone ..he could have called home and check if he is there.. ??