Tell funniest jokes ever heard

shashichief · 1st Moderator

RE: Tell funniest jokes ever heard

shashichief · 1st Moderator

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom!", she said. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

KIDS, DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THEM???

kamkhems · Guru

God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri (a former Prime Minister of India) how many
children he had during his time on earth.
He replied saying he had three!

Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a
Mercedes!

Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question. When he replies he had
10children, God is a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, The Ford!

Jawaharlal is next. He decides to see what happens if he says he had 15
children, God is pretty angry and gives him an Inexpensive Maruti 800.

Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on Foot.
They ask why God hadn't given him anything.
Gandhiji replied With anger, "Some idiot told God that I was the father of
the Nation!!!"

Pinky · Senior Member

A man was standing in a field alone.He was doing nothing and was looking at nothing.

Soon a driver passed by,he got out of the car and went to the man in the field and asked him, 'What are you doing?'

The man in the field replied 'They say they give Nobel Prizes to people who are outstanding in their fields.'

Pinky · Senior Member

A sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, 'What is that shiny object?'

The clerk replies, 'That is a thermos flask.' The sardar then asks, 'What does it do?'

The clerk responds, 'It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.'

The sardar says, 'I'll take it!'

The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks, 'What is that shiny object with you?'

He said, 'It's a thermos flask.'

The boss then says, 'What does it do?'

He replies, 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.'

The boss said, 'Wow, what do you have in it?'

The sardar replies, 'Two cups of coffee and a coke.'

Pinky · Senior Member

Sardarji was searching for a job but received no calls from India. He did however receive a letter from a foreign company.

'Oye!', he said, 'This is the first time I've applied and Ive got the job... lets celebrate... get the daaru!'

'So how much salary is it sardarji and tell us more about the job!', his friends ask him.

'English main letter aayeaa hai, main tuhanu translate kar ke sunana haaan .. tau suno kya likhya hai..'

- You Do not meet - tum to milte hi nahin ho... bahut busy ho!

- our requirements - Humhe to bahut zarooorat hai.

- no further correspondence - Aage chitthi patri di jarurat nahin hai, jaise bhi ho jaldi se aa jao

- will be entertained - Bahut khatir ki jayegi!'