Tell funniest jokes ever heard

Pinky · Senior Member

RE: Tell funniest jokes ever heard

kamkhems · Guru

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog.

The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times more or better!"

The woman said, "That would be okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to.

The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM-she'sthe most beautiful woman in the world.
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, .......And she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!

Pinky · Senior Member

Sardarji calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?' Just a sec,' says the rep.

Thank you.' says the Sardarji and hangs up.

Pinky · Senior Member

An American, a Frenchman and a Sardar were having dinner together with their girlfriends.

The American said, 'Pass me the honey, my honey!'

While the French said, 'Pass me the sugar my sugar!'

Wanting to impress his girlfriend with his own beautiful language the sardar said, 'Pass me the milk, cow!'

Pinky · Senior Member

Some tourists in the Punjab Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones.

One of them asked the guard, Santa Singh 'Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?'

Santa replied, 'They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.'

'That's an awfully exact number,' says the tourist. 'How do you know their age so precisely?'

Santa answered, 'Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago.'

shashichief · 1st Moderator

TO LIGHTEN UP YOUR FATHER'S DAY

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion,

so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything
was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened
suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally
predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I
decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She
rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad
impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun
initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl
with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with
her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her.

She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big boobs