Tell funniest jokes ever heard

shashichief · 1st Moderator

RE: Tell funniest jokes ever heard

shashichief · 1st Moderator

WHY A DIVORCE?

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"

shashichief · 1st Moderator

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
> She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The
> frog
> said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three
> wishes."
>
> The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
> to
> mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
> for,
> your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."
>
> For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
> world.
> The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your
> husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
> flock
> to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most
> beautiful
> Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
>
>
> So, KAZAK-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second
> wish,
> she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That
> will
> make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten
> times
> richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine
is
> his
> and what's his is mine." So, KAZAK-she's the richest woman in the
> world!
>
> The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
> like
> a
> mild heart attack."
>
> Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
>
> Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you.
> Stop here and continue feeling good.
>
> Male readers: Please scroll down.
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> The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
>
> Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
> smart.
>
> Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
>
> PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to
show
> that
> women never listen!!!
>
> Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies
> who
> have a good sense of humour.

Pinky · Senior Member

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:

Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to assure you that we had nothing in connection with that...

Bush: What buildings? What people??

Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?

Bush: It's eight in the morning.

Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!

Pinky · Senior Member

A 75 year old man got married to a 15 year old girl.

On their first night both of them were crying, because she dind't know anything and he had forgetten everything!

Pinky · Senior Member

A Chinese couple was about to have their first baby.

When the baby was born, eyes were wide and big, her hair curly and skin dark brown - all quite unlike Chinese.

So the father named the baby 'Sum Ting Rong'!