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Post Info TOPIC: Tell funniest jokes ever heard
shashichief


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RE: Tell funniest jokes ever heard
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A young unwed girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, she
confides
>this 'news' to her mother. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says,
>"Who was the pig   that did this   to you? I want to know!" The girl
>picks
>up
>the phone and   makes a call.
>
>Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house;   a mature
>and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a  
very
>expensive   suit steps out of it and enters the house. He sits in the
>living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and   tells
them:
>"Good
>morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.
>
>However, I can't marry her because of my personal family   situation,
>but
>I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2
retail
>stores, a townhouse, a beach   villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If
a
>boy is born,my   legacy will be a   couple of factories and a
$2,000,000
>bank
>account.
>
>If it is   twins, a   factory and $1,000,000 each. However, if there
is
>a miscarriage, what do   you suggest I do?"
>
>At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand
firmly
>on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can try again!"

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shashichief


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A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.

He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 girls and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful girls into the house and asks them to sit down on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?" ...........................................................

The Indian mother replies, "I don't like her."

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shashichief


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Amithabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer care rep hain...

 Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amithabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko kahoge main laaonga..

Dharmendra: Thank you for callllllliiiiingggg.....
Customer:     I need help
Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa...
Customer:     I am unable  to  use your product... its waste and worthless
Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..
Customer:     What!!! I need your manager
Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi naachna

Shatru : Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya hai...
Customer : How dare you speak like that
Shatru : Khaaaamoshhhhh... seedhi tarah bolde issue kya hai warna... haaaaaaaaa!!!

Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa  naya kabutar ne call kiya
Customer: I lost my invoice
Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep hain..haahhaaa

Kestu Mukherji:  Iiiiiihhhhye....
Customer: hi
Kestu Mukherji : iiiihhhyeee tumko ....tumko kya problem hai
Customer : I have not received my product
Kestu Mukherji : To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police mien report likha...

Bindu:  Shabnam naam hai mera... pyar se log shabbo bolte hain..bolo main tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.

Shakti: AAAuuuuuu...mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you for calling aaauuuuu
Customer: I need your manager
Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa, pyarasa...rep hooon..

Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi ... thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo
Customer : I am not devi
Mehmood : Ayyo muruga... ye dyevi nai ji ... ye to dyeva hai...

Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai..... May I know your name please
Customer : Mona
Ajit: Mona darling... tumne hamein call kyun kiya
Customer : (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager dedenge to hamein manage kaun karega....

Gabbar: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....Jo dargaya wo maraga... batao tumhen kya chahiye
Customer : I want to buy a product from your company
Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re
Customer : $ 10.00
Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho ... sirf... $10.00...dhikkaar hai

Prem Chopra: Prem...Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra...
Customer : I lost my invoice I need one
Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice khud dhoondle

Rajkumar : Jaani ..... Tumhara ye call bahut keemti hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer:  I lost my invoice
Rajkumar:  Jaani... ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki cheez nahi
Customer : shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10 minutes... otherwise I will speak to your manager
Rajkumar : Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena...      manager humko darasake manager mein itna dum nahi... humse hai manager... manager se hum nahi...

Sharukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Customer hung up the phone....

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Pinky


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Three weeks after her wedding day, Jaspinder called her father. 'Daddy,' she wailed, 'Santa and I had a DREADFUL fight!'

'Calm down, my child,' said her father, 'it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!'

'I know, I know!' said Jaspinder. 'But what am I going to do with the BODY?'


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Pinky


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Three Indian soldiers, Jai Reddy (Tamil), Joy Bosu (Bengali), and Santa Singh are captured by Pakistani Army. The Pakistani Corp commander doesnot want to have them as POWs and has decided to execute them. They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.

The Reddy asks for a Masala Dosai, which he is served and then taken away.

The Bosu requests a Machli Bhath, which he is served and also taken away.

Santa requests Sarson ka saag and Makki di roti. The captors are surprised and reply ' Sarson?'

'Yes, Sarson.'

'Arre Sarson to is season mein aati nahin hai!'

'Koi gall nahin. Asee intezaar karanga...'


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Pinky


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Little Santa Singh farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the class but he can't stop laughing.

The principal walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing and he says, 'Little Santa what are you doing sitting here laughing?'

Little Santa says, 'I farted in class and the teacher threw me out.'

The principle says, 'Well then why are you laughing?'

Little Santa says, 'Cause the dumb idiots are sitting in the class smelling my fart and here I am outside in this beautiful weather.'



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