Tell funniest jokes ever heard

Pinky · Senior Member

RE: Tell funniest jokes ever heard

Pinky · Senior Member

This guy was talking to his friend.

"I had it all, hymie - money, a beautiful house and the love of a beautiful women.

Then pow! It was all gone."

"what happened?" asked Hymie.

"My wife found out about the beautiful women."

shashichief · 1st Moderator

Santa Singh was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too cold, then he asked that it be turned down because he was too hot, and so it went for about a half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter Banta Singh was very patient. He walked back and forth and never once got angry.

Finally, a second customer asked Banta Singh why he didn't throw out the pest.

'Oye! I don't care,' said Banta with a smile. 'We don't even have an air conditioner!'

shashichief · 1st Moderator

Doctor to Sardar: 'Aapka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai!'
Sardar: 'Hoga, zaroor hoga! 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!'

shashichief · 1st Moderator

"The Top Ten Ways of Becoming Fair"

10. Surround yourself with darker people.

9. Use talcum powder constantly, all over the exposed parts of your body...it would also be a good idea to buy shares in Johnson & Johnson.

8. Rub pumice stone all over your body; the Koli women use it on their legs to get rid of hair...it also leaves their skin fairer and lighter.

7. Immerse yourself in a tub of an industrial bleaching agent...twice a day for a year.

6. Migrate to the Arctic for at least 20 years...the lack of exposure to the sun will make your skin fair.

5. Wear a burkha permanently...it may have the same effect as going to the Arctic.

4. Research the leukoderma (albino) gene and inject it in your body.

3. Research the melanin pigment gene and invent an anti-melanin agent.

2. Ask John Woo and get a skin transplant done from a fair person (remember Face-Off?).

1. Contact Micheal Jackson.

shashichief · 1st Moderator

]The Top Ten Rules That Mumbai Taxi-Drivers Follow For Passengers Comfort & Satisfaction

10. Keep the taxi in a rickety condition, so that the ride is as bumpy and jerky as possible. The passengers will get a free body massage.
9. Brake hard, suddenly, every 3-5 minutes. This will help passengers exercise various body parts in an attempt to prevent them from being flung around.

8. Push the front seat as far back as possible. This will cramp most passengers in the back seat, thus keeping them awake and alert.

7. Blow your horn as loudly and frequently as possible. This will prevent most passengers from falling asleep, thus allowing them to use their precious time for more fruitful activities.

6. Always swear at other drivers who either drive too slow or too fast or cut you or don't allow you to cut them. This will expand the passengers' vocabulary.

5. Exchange the standard four-cylinder engine for an imported, junked, three-cylinder one. This will prevent the taxi from going above 40km/hour, thus making it safer for passengers.

4. Always drive in the middle of a two-lane road so that no other vehicle can pass you by. This will prevent noxious fumes from other vehicles entering your taxi, thus keeping the air inside clean and breathable.

3. Break signals and drive through one-way streets from the opposite direction whenever possible. The passengers will reach their destinations faster, thus saving time and money.

2. Never carry small change. This will teach passengers the new concept of rounding off to the nearest five rupees.

1. Always refuse short-distance rides. This will make people healthier by forcing them to walk.