Tell funniest jokes ever heard

shashichief · 1st Moderator

RE: Tell funniest jokes ever heard

shashichief · 1st Moderator

A man from Uttar Pradesh was away from his

wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Jaunpur (UP).

At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his

colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.

His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happy event"

happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...

The man said it is common in UP that neighbours take care of the wife
(good Samaritans) when men are away. The

colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"

The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken care,
then the name would be DWIVEDI;

If it is the third neighbour then it would

be TRIVEDI,

If it is the fourth neighbour then it

would be CHATURVEDI;

If its the fifth neighbour then it would

be PANDEY...

After listening to this, questions followed.

What if it is a mixture of neighbours? "Then the boy would be named

MISHRA"...

And what if the wife is too shy to tell

the name of the neighbour?

"Then it would be SHARMA"...

But what if she refuses to divulge the

name of the neighbour?

"Then the name of the child would be GUPTA"...

If she does not remember the name then?

"It is YAAD-AV...

But who knows whether the child resulted

from a rape?

"Then it will be named DOSHI"...

Finally, if the child happened because

of wife's burning desire

for Sex? Then he will be named JOSHI...

And if the whole country had made efforts

for the happy arrival?....

DESHPANDEY !!!!!!!!!!!!!

shashichief · 1st Moderator

God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time
on
earth. He replied saying he had three!
Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave
Shastri a
Mercedes!

Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question.
When he replies he had 10 children, God is a bit upset and gives him a
cheaper car, the Ford.

Jawaharlal is next.
He decides to see what happens if he says he had 15 children, God is
pretty
angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.

Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot.
They ask why God hadn't given him anything.

Gandhiji replied with anger, "Some idiot told God that I was the FATHER
OF
THE NATION!"

shashichief · 1st Moderator

Women:
>A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the
>very next
>morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at
>her
>girlfriend's apartment over night. The husband calls
>10 of
>her best girlfriends, and none of them confirms
>that.
>
>Men:
>A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he
>tells
>his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at
>his
>friend's
>apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his
>best
>friends : 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their
>apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming
>that
>he still is there with them !
>
>Conclusion of the story:
>Men are better friends !!!!
>
>
>
>Ha ha ha.....funny isn't it !!

shashichief · 1st Moderator

BRILLIANT WAYS GIRLS TURN GUYS DOWN!!
HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a
face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for
a face like yours!!

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

Pinky · Senior Member

Bollywood Love Letter

WHEN I AM : KAREEB
THERE IS ONLY : KHAMOSHI
I WANT TO SPEAK : DIL SE
THAT'S MY KIND OF : ISHQ
I WANT THIS TO BE : GUPT
AS I ALWAYS HAVE : DARR
THAT I WILL LOOSE YOU : SAJANI
AND THAT WOULD BE GREAT : SADMA
I AM YOUR : MR.AASHIQUE
BUT SOMETIMES BIT : DEEWANA
TELL ME : HUM AAPKE HAIN KAUN
AS I FEEL : KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI
IN THIS : DUNIYA DILWALON KI
I TOLD YOU : MAINE PYAR KIYA
MAY BE : DIL TO PAGAL HAI
BECAUSE : JAB PYAR KISISE HOTA HAI
THE WHOLE WORLD APPEARS AS : DUSHMAN
BUT ANYWAY : PYAR TO HONA HI THA