Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Go Back to Radio Hangama -> Radio Hangama Discussion Board -> Chit Chat - Duniya Bhar Ki Baatein ! -> Tell funniest jokes ever heard
Post Info TOPIC: Tell funniest jokes ever heard
shashichief


1st Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 2787
Date:
RE: Tell funniest jokes ever heard
Permalink  

Poor Couple  

A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.''
The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?''

The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''

__________________
shashichief


1st Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 2787
Date:
Permalink  

A girl is walking on the beach and meets a guy.She asks..."Are you JOE?"He says..."No, why?" She starts crying and says..."Then i have no one in this world..." The guy said "Ab bolo kyun???"

Scroll down



























more










because saagar kinaare ,dil yeh pukaare...tu "JOE" nahin to, mera koi nahi haiiiiiiii.

__________________
shashichief


1st Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 2787
Date:
Permalink  

One day a sardaarji sitting in his office at 67th floor working hard on some silly project. suddenly a man enters into the room and "Santa singh, your baby has fallen from the roof of your house". Sardaarji get very upsets..runs.. but sees that lift is still on the ground floor.. how to go down fast... so he decided to just jump.. he jumps from 67th floor....
67...
66..
65..
Then he realizes: "But I don't have a kid"
.
.
.
56
56
.
Again he realizes: "But I am not married"
.
.
.
25
.
.
.
15
.
.
5
.
.
1
Then he realizes: "Who is Santa Singh"
Bhooooom.

__________________
shashichief


1st Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 2787
Date:
Permalink  

Getting Out of a Ticket
A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What the #### am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer

__________________
shashichief


1st Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 2787
Date:
Permalink  

WHAT  TICKET?


A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and the following exchange occurs:


Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the owner and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a body in the trunk?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It is valid.

Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Gun? What gun? There's no gun in there.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in there.
Driver: I said what???

And of course, there is no body in the trunk.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet he told you I was speeding too!!!



__________________
shashichief


1st Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 2787
Date:
Permalink  

New Viruses to be on the lookout for....


The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for
viruses
of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes
little purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and
re-counting.

The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then
e-mails everyone about what it did.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but
will be back.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB,
then
slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor
doesn't care.

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch
floppy ... then discards it through Windows

__________________
«First  <  1 … 34 35 36 37 38 … 76  >  Last»  | Page of 76  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Go Back to Radio Hangama -> Radio Hangama Discussion Board -> Chit Chat - Duniya Bhar Ki Baatein ! -> Tell funniest jokes ever heard
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard