Disorder in the American Courts Cont.

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

BAKED  BEANS:

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
She
>loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing
and
>somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell in
>love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to
herself,
>"He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying

>on."
>
>
>She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
>
>Some months later, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since
she
>lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would
be
>late because she had to walk home.
>
>On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans
was
>more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she
figured
>that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
>
>So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed
three
>large orders of baked beans.
>
>All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
>reasonably
>sure she could control it.  Her husband seemed excited to see her and
>exclaimed delightedly,
>
>"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
>
>He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She
seated
>herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife,
the
>telephone rang.  He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until
he
>returned.
>
>He then went to answer the telephone.
>
>The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
pressure
>was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the
room
>she
>seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It
was
>not only loud, but it smelled like a fertiliser truck running over a
skunk
>in front of pulpwood mill.
>
>She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she
>shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of
>cooked cabbage.
>
>Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went
on
>like this for another ten minutes.  When the telephone farewells
signalled
>the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her
>napkin,
>placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly
to
>herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,
>apologising for taking so long.
>
>He asked her if she peeked and she assured him that she had not.
>
>At this point, he removed the blindfold ... and she was surprised!!
>
>There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a
>"Happy
>Birthday"!!!