READ   AND   LEARN:

> WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
> She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
>Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
>Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
>Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
>And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
>
>
>WOMEN'S REVENGE
> "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
> wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote
> control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry
> your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused
> to come shopping wit h me, and I figured this was the most evil thing
> I could do to him legally."
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
>(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
>I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never
>understand how you can take boiling hot wax pour it onto your
>per thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
>
>
>
>MARRIAGE SEMINAR
>While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with
>communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
>"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are
> important to each other."
>He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite
> flower?"
> Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered,
>"It's Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets rather ugly,
>so I'll stop right here.
>
>CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
>A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
> The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He
> answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
>She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later,
>he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
>
> She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some
> tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this,
> yesterday,I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
>and
>she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's
>sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
> So, I figure if I have to roll my own............. so does
> she.
>
>(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
>
>
> WIFE VS. HUSBAND
> A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
>saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
> neither of them wanted to concede their position.
>As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
>the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
>
>Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
>
>
>
>WORDS
> A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
> women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied,
>"The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
>The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
>
>
>
>CREATION
>A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
> so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
>
> "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me
>beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so
>I would be attracted to you!
>
>
>
>WHO DOES WHAT
> A man and his wife were having an argument abo ut who should
>brew the coffee each morning.
> The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
>and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
>
> The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here
>and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait
>for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
> is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
>
> Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she
>fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed
>him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"