Tell funniest jokes ever heard

Pinky · Senior Member

RE: Tell funniest jokes ever heard

Pinky · Senior Member

Doctor: I regret to inform you that you have a brain tumor.

Santa Singh: Hey! Is it? Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Listen, do you really understand the implications.

Santa Singh: Yes of course, do you think I’m a dumbhead or a dodo?

Doctor: Then, why on earth, are you so happy to hear that?

Santa Singh: Oh Doc, how do I tell you? I can prove the people wrong now as I do have a brain.

Pinky · Senior Member

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy

so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees

to wake him up when the station arrived.

This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees ,

the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell

asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.

When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he

went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and

suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.

Said his wife " What's the matter?"

Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and

woken up someone else"

shashichief · 1st Moderator

GOOD HOLIDAY RETURN ADVICE:

Okay, so this lady goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought the toaster on special. All of the sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming! "GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"

The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the store manager. The manager comes up to the Woman and asks, "What's wrong?" She Explains the situation with the toaster. He tells her that he can't give Her a refund because she bought it on special. Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"

In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that?" In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE I LIKE TO HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!"

---Her money was refunded

shashichief · 1st Moderator

OPTICAL ILLUSION

OPTICAL ILLUSION
Keep looking at the picture, and you'll see a giraffe , believe it or not !!

Go to Today's Pictures

-- Edited by shashichief at 10:43, 2004-12-10

shashichief · 1st Moderator

Angel Atop The Christmas Tree:

One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.

Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as quickly as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then, Mrs. Claus told him that her mom was coming to visit, which stressed Santa out even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.

More stress.

When he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground, scattering the toys.

Frustrated, Santa went back into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whisky. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces.

So he went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.

Just then, the doorbell rang and Santa cussed his way to the door.

He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa! Isn't it just a lovely day? I have this beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?

Thus began the tradition of the little angel atop the Christmas tree.