Comparing Aussies,Brits,Canadians & Americans:

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Brits when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing patriots to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing it.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't watch much TV, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice at baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms (Brits) in every sport they play them in.

Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English."
Canadians: Spell like Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies: Add "G'day," "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to get laid.

Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.

Americans: Drink weak, urine-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, urine-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting urine.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.

Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited things.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data to apply for a post in Microsoft:

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a  post in Microsoft
> Corporation, USA.
>
> A few days later he  got this reply :
>
>
> Dear Mr. Laloo  ,
> You do  not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further
>  correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.
>  Thanks"
>
> Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this  reply.
>
> He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he  said:
> "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko  Amereeca
mein
> naukri mil gayee hoon aur woh bhi duniyake sabse ameer  companime.."
>
> Everyone was delighted.
>
> Laloo  prasad continued......
>
> "Ab main aap sab ko apnaa Appointment  letter padkar sunaongaa - par
> letter angreeze main hai - isliyen  saath-saath hindi main translate
bhee
> karoonga.
>
> Dear Mr.  Laloo Prasad ..... Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
>
> You do not meet  ---- aap to miltay hee naheen ho !!!
> our requirement ---- humko to  zaroorat hai
> Please do not send any furthur correspondance ---- ab  Letter vetter
> bhej ne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
> No phone call  ---- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
> shall be entertained ---- bahut  khaatir kee jayegi.
> Thanks ---- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanya wad.