Tell funniest jokes ever heard

RJ_Sonia · Administrator

RE: Tell funniest jokes ever heard

shashichief · 1st Moderator

Man Of Steel

At his request, each morning 3-year-old Ray's mother pinned a bath towel to the back shoulders of his size two T-shirt. Immediately in his young imaginative mind, the towel became a magic blue and red cape. And he became Superman.

Outfitted each day in his "cape," Ray's days were packed with adventure and daring escapades. He was Superman.

This fact was clearly pointed out last fall when his mother enrolled him in kindergarten class. During the course of the interview, the teacher asked Ray his name.

"Superman," he answered politely and without hesitation.

The teacher smiled, cast an appreciative glance at his mother, and asked again, "Your real name, please."

Again, Ray answered, "Superman."

Realizing the situation demanded more authority, or maybe to hide amusement, the teacher closed her eyes for a moment, then in a stern voice said, "I will have to have your real name for my records."

Sensing he'd have to play straight with the teacher, Ray slid his eyes around the room, hunched closer to her, and answered in a voice hushed with conspiracy, "Clark Kent."

shashichief · 1st Moderator

CHINESE PROVERBS
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell different to midget. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who has sex with woman in field get piece on earth
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Now send it to 10 or more people with in the next 5 minutes! And good luck! Nothing will happen but 10 people laughing at these Proverbs!

-- Edited by RJ_Sonia at 12:35, 2004-09-15

shashichief · 1st Moderator

Jamaican Fireman

A newly wed Jamaican fireman came home from work one day and said to his wife: Y'know sumptin, honey, we have a wonderful system at de fire station.

Bell 1 rings - we put on de jackets.
Bell 2 rings - we slide down de pole.
Bell 3 rings - we jump on de ingine and we's ready to go.

From now on, when I says.........
Bell one, I want you to strip naked.
Bell two, you jump on de bed.
Bell tree, we's gonna mek love all tru de night."

The next night he came home and shouted
Bell One, and she stripped naked.
Bell Two, and she jumped on the bed.
Bell Tree, and they started to make love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled out "Bell Four".
"What de hell is 'Bell Four', woman?"
She replied: "Roll out more hose, man, you ain't nowhere near de fire

shashichief · 1st Moderator

A Polish Eye Test.

A Polish man goes to the ophthalmologist, who shows him a card with the
letters

C Z W X N Q S T A C Z

"Can you read this?" he asks.

"Read it?" the Pole replies, "I know the guy!"

shashichief · 1st Moderator

Talking To God

A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes, when he decided to talk to God.

"God," he said, "how long is a million years?"

God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."

The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"

God answered, "To me, it's a penny."

The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"

God answered, "Sure! Just a minute."