While my fingers on the remote control flip channels on the television set, my head screams, "Everything on TV is a flop, flop flop." Okay, KBC II, or "KBC Dvitiya" as the Big B calls it, has made a comeback, but we still need time to see whether the programme can sustain its TRP ratings.
Meanwhile, more killings, attempts at murder and paralytic attacks on Ekta Kapoor serials continue. Take Kkusum, for instance. The original plot revolved around protagonist Kkusum, a middle-class Indian girl who works hard to keep the home fires burning.
Now, Kkusum has seen at least three different faces, with the latest one being a vamp in disguise. Don't ask us how it's happened, but while the nice, docile lady has been abducted by goons, it's the bad lady who's making life hell for everyone around her. Makes sense? No? Never mind, even we're at a loss to understand why the story has taken such a twist.
Jassi on Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin is dead. She's recently shed Neeta Lulla's designer outfits to serenade in plain white outfits, and become Ms Neha Shastri, a history and dramatics teacher in Nainital. It seems that our sweet, innocent girl was in a mood to sprint, hop and run, and barely two hours before her much-hyped wedding in Mumbai she did exactly that.
The original story attempted to highlight the apathy of the plain Jane's desi version, Jassi, as she stepped into the glamorous world of fashion and falls in love with the company's CEO. She goes in for a complete makeover to become India's supermodel.
Now, it seems the serial has hit a dead end and suddenly we find Jassi cooling her heels in Nainital and acquiring a new name and identity. But what happens should the authorities ask her to show her ration card? And what of her bank accounts in Mumbai -- after all, she is also a company CEO?
And what's happened to all the designer clothes that she's left behind while running away from home? Or, for that matter, her cellphone, credit cards, school and college certificates that the Indian government can't seem to let you live without?
Tell ya, running away from home also requires a great deal of preparation, but nutty serial-makers will never understand that.
If you thought only serials could make you bang your head against the wall, wait till you check out our news channels and some of the anchors in the spotlight.
Recently, on Star News, the anchor started talking animatedly about Aamir Khan and (I swear) broke into a song from one of the actor's earlier films. Her eyes danced, she flashed a Colgate smile, her face lit up — and we were confused.
Was this a news channel or a drama session in progress? But what was absolutely disgusting was when a news channel aired live snapshots of Govinda's family soaked in blood after a serious accident. We say, can't news be viewed without us having to see the TV screen splattered with blood and the news anchor bouncing up and down in his chair and shouting excitedly, "Oh! We have the live shots, we have the live shots"?
May better sense prevail on our telly soon. Amen.
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New Delhi- The tremendously popular TV game show,"Kaun Banega CrorePati"claimed its victim in the capital. Mrs Neelam Arora, utterly disgustedwith her husband's inability to answer the simplest of questions,divorced him immediately after the end of the show. The entire event has shaken the capital to the core and has left the local populace in astate of daze.Mrs Neelam Arora, when contacted, was all fire and fury. "How can you staymarried to a dumb brick who cannot answer even the first 1000 Rupeesquestion? Even a 6 year old can answer such questions, but my husband, I mean, my ex-husband *%$#@&*(unprintable) couldn't do it.That's why; I called a lawyer immediately and filed divorce papers." She also added that all her friends and relatives supported her move.She also dismissed the suggestion that her husband, for motives bestknown to him, could have deliberately flunked the question. Mr. PankajArora, a property dealer in one of the colonies of East Delhi, was happy when he got the news from the Star TV network that he had got selected,one among millions, for participating in the popular show and heconsidered himself lucky to be so chosen. He was also told to bring hiswife along to the studios at Mumbai where the game shows were to behosted by Mr Amitabh Bachhan. Winning a crore was hardly in the mind ofMr Arora and all Mr Pankaj Arora wanted to do there was to gape at hisidol and may be he thought he could try to sell him a few of the plotsof his clients to Amitabh at a small tidy margin. But Mrs Arora was made of sterner stuff.Mrs Neelam Arora, ever the ambitious wife, now took charge of herindolent husband. She hired the best tutor from Sachdev Tutorials, madehim learn all the countries and capitals in the world, currencies ofdifferent countries, names of different states,rivers,towns in thecountry etc.After 3 weeks of gruelling schedule of cramming, Mr Arora and Mrs Aroraconfidently embarked on their journey to Mumbai, little knowing that the game show was to change their lives forever. Mr Arora was one among the10 hopefuls selected for the 'fastest finger first' event.Amitabh appeared in flesh and blood and Mr Pankaj Arora, whose lifetimeambition, was to see his childhood hero in person, felt a sense offulfillment and pressed some buttons in a hurry. Mr Arora couldn'tbelieve it! Mrs Neelam Arora felt like a mother whose favourite kid hadwon the best baby show. Not only had he given correct answers, but hehad done so even before others could begin!There was a hubbub around the auditorium as Mr Pankaj Arora gingerlytook the seat from Amitabh for everyone was convinced that history wasgoing to be made that day. There was suspense in the air and theaudience could sense money floating all around them. Amitabh Bachhanstarted the show by smiling benignly at the nervous Mr Arora, the kindof smile he would give to a ABCL investor, clapped his hands and readout the question. "Mr Pankaj Arora, yehi hai aap ka pehla sawaal. Whowrote 'Valmiki Ramayan'? The choices are A. Tulsidas B. Ramanand SagarC. B R Chopra D. Valmiki?" Mr Pankaj Arora very promptly said, "Ramanand Sagar!". He had not forgotten the days when he used to get up early onSundays solely to watch the epic. Amitabh again smiled the benign smile, cajoled him to use his lifeline, audience poll etc., but Mr PankajArora, like a true blue property dealer, didn't budge from his position.He later told everyone sobbingly that he wanted to preserve thelifelines for using them after touching the 25 lac mark Amitabhcommisserated with him and told a shocked Mr Arora that his answer waswrong. The pin-drop silence that followed immediately was only to bebroken by loud angry shriek from a female, that evidently from a female, who had been done in by her husband.She shouted immediately, "Is there a lawyer in the house?".Before the pandemonium that broke out could settle in, Mr Arora and MrsArora had parted ways as husband and wife. This event has caused greatsensation among the community of TV viewers and the effect has beenelectric among the chronic followers of this game show. Whether this'wife-divorcing-husband -for-flunking-the-first- question' event, willdrive away all husbands from the show or pull them with magneticattraction to the greatest TV game show ever, only time alone can tell [U]
