I 'm firing Shanaz.Bhai, my maid , you know the one who was called Shameem but Mummy changed her name to Shanaz because she didn't want the maid to share her name otherwise how was she going to call her.
"Bewaqoof Shameem!" Yes that one only! You know what she's gone and done now? Shanaz baba, not Mummy, Mulloo called up yesterday after lunch.Shanaz picked up the phone and when Mulloo asked, "Begum Saab kya kar rahi hain?", she replied, "Voh paat par bethi, susu kar rahi hain." Imagine!! Iheard her with my own ears from the bathroom. I tau nearly had a cease fire- sorry, I mean seizure.Thanks God I wasn't doing big bathroom otherwise who knows what she would've said? Probably used the T word.Honestly, these people are so crude! So I charged out of the bathroom like a heat seeking missile and grabbing her by the wrist, shouted: "How many times I've told you that if someone calls and I'm in the bathroom you are to say that "m taking a shower?"
"But you weren't taking a shower, you were doing susu, I could hear the trickle through the door!" she whined. "I 'm never doing susu, you understand?" I screamed. "I'm never doing susu or anything else on the pot. I NEVER sit on the pot. I only ever take a shower. Yes, you can say I'm doing vuzoo for namaaz if Saab's mother calls. But I'm never doing susu. Never, ever!!"
"You mean you never do susu?" she asked, opening her eyes wide and pretending to be all masoom and innocent jaisi. " And also T. You never do T?" I knew she was going to use the T-word. I just knew it. I shut my eyes and counted to ten like they do in Hollywood films.Then I opened them and said slowly, "Do you know what you've done? You've made a joke out of me. Now everyone will lagao my record and whenever my name comes up they will picture me sitting on the pot. I will never be able to go to their houses and ask to use the toilet because they will immediately imagine the worst. And you know what that means? It means that everytime I am at someone's house and I want to do susu, I will have to jump up, rush into my car and come tearing home to do it. Even if I'm having lunch in Defence in Phase 110 at the other end of the world!! What do you have to say to that?"
And you know what she said to that, ulloo ki patthi, Shameem, "Oh, so you do susu then..."
Kindly take a couple of minutes to go thru this . If useful may advise others also . Please pass this on to others This happened in Paris recently and may happen elsewhere also. A few weeks ago, in a movie theatre, a person felt something poking from her seat. When she got up to see what it was, she found a needle sticking out of the seat with a note attached saying "You have just been infected by HIV". The Disease Control Centre (in Paris) reports many similar events in many other cities recently. All tested needles were HIV Positive. The Centre also reports that needles have been found in cash dispensers at public banking machines. We ask everyone to use extreme caution when faced with this kind of situation. All public chairs/seats should be inspected with vigilance and caution before use. A careful visual inspection should be enough. In addition, they ask that each of you pass this message along to all members of your family and your friends of the potential danger.
Recently, one doctor has narrated a somewhat similar instance that happened to one of his patients at the Priya Cinema in Delhi. A young girl, engaged and about to be married in a couple of months, was pricked while the movie was going on. The tag with the needle had the message " Welcome to the World of HIV family". Though the doctors told her family that it takes about 6 months before the virus grows strong enough to start damaging the system and a healthy victim could survive about 5-6 years, the girl died in 4 months, perhaps more because of the "Shock thought". We all have to be careful at public places, rest God help! Just think about saving a life by forwarding this message. Please, take a few seconds of your time to pass along.
With Regards, S. Dinesh Gopinath, I.A.S, Director of Medical & Research Div, Chennai.
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