SHAHRUKH KHAN FAN WRITES LETTER TO EDITOR

Dear Editor:

I am a longtime subscriber to your publication. It is
largely because of you that I'm able to keep up with all the
important news from India, particularly the happenings of
Bollywood. Like most Indians, I need a regular dose of
Bollywood news as much as I need oxygen.

Needless to say, I'm also addicted to the movies themselves.
In fact, my wife has threatened to divorce me if I don't
give up my habit of watching a Bollywood movie every night.
I've promised her that I will try my best, however hard it
may seem, to survive without her.

Watching a movie every night may seem extreme, but it's
nothing compared to the number of movies I watch during the
day. It's the only way I can keep up with the enormous
output of Bollywood. I don't know what I'd do if I had a
job. Thankfully, my wife is the breadwinner in our family
and I'm a full-time student. Student of films, that is.
Someday, I hope to earn an MBA (Masters in Bollywood
Action).

That's why I enjoy reading your publication. As soon as it
arrives in the mail, I grab it, lock myself in the bathroom
and turn to the Bollywood section. I read every word, study
every picture, trace my finger over every face. I love
seeing the pictures of my favorite stars, particularly
Shahrukh Khan, who, as you know, is the most popular actor
not just in India, but also in New Jersey.

So you can imagine my shock and dismay when I opened the
latest issue of your publication and failed to see a single
picture of Shahrukh. At first, I thought I had simply
overlooked Shahrukh. I'm so used to seeing his picture that
on one occasion, I'm embarrassed to say, I forgot to cut it
out. (Thankfully, I was able to retrieve the picture at my
local landfill.)

Over the last few years, your publication has averaged three
pictures of Shahrukh per issue. Sometimes he appears in your
Bollywood section, sometimes he appears in movie ads, and
sometimes he appears in the background of other pictures.
For example, you once printed a picture of a new Indian
grocery store and, using a magnifying glass, I spotted
Shahrukh on two movie posters on the wall. I never realized
how much joy a single discovery could bring.

But even with the magnifying glass, I couldn't find Shahrukh
in your latest issue. My disappointment was so great that
for a few days I seriously considered canceling my
subscription. Then I decided to write this letter, saying to
my wife, "Perhaps the editors don't realize what a grave
mistake they've committed."

I should mention that I'm not writing as an ordinary reader,
but as the vice-president of the Edison Township, N.J.,
chapter of the Shahrukh Khan Fan Club. We are affiliated
with an extremely powerful organization called NASKA
(National Association of Shahrukh Khan Admirers.)

On behalf of NASKA, I would like to insist that you add a
special Shahrukh section to your publication to ensure that
you never leave him out again. Just remember this: With a
single email, I can have twenty busloads of Indians
protesting outside your office. Many of us are extremely
devoted to Shahrukh. When someone asks us if he's as big as
Amitabh, we have only one response: "Amitabh who?"